There is a saying, attributed to one of the many Afurakan nations. It states “A woman is the flower in the garden, the husband is the fence”
Long before I came across this quote, I used to walk around stating the (black) woman is a flower in the garden of life.
How little did I know, many years later, how true my statement was and how tragic that we as men allow these flowers to grow unattended or badly attended. A flower raised with living care from a seed to fullness, yields in turn healthy seeds and a beautiful sense of accomplishment.
A flower barely attended to, that is neither watered properly or handled lovingly, will whither and die, shortly after it grows stunted and brittle .
A while ago, my lady and I agreed to have discussions on a variety of topics before we retire for the night. One particular topic recently discussed, centered on relationships in the black community. Specifically around black nationalist women and black nationalist men. Ever since I know her she has been ardent in stating that black nationalist women, barely gets attention and or love from alleged nationalist men, but these nationalist men would rather chase a hype girl or some THOT, over a nationalist woman.
At first my response came through seeing the world through my personal lenses. I never thought of calling myself a nationalist due to ignorance. I stopped calling myself a pan Afurakanist ever since I noted how said pan Afurakanists would chase white women, white men, embrace homophiles, tolerate pedophilia among us, embrace the ideology of the Soviet union and practice white patriarchal or feminist ideology.
Since listening to her I overstand now what black nationalist means. And while I would still not automatically use that description for myself, I compare it favorable to the philosophy of Ayo Kimathi….the Irritated Genie of soufeese. His philosophy of Straight Black Pride, is truly what nationalism means in the 21st century.
The only good complement for a black man is a black woman and the only good compliment to a black woman is a black man. And both should show pride in uplifting and supporting black people. Individuals and the collective. So simple. Yet often through out my sojourn in this life, it’s the simple that seems most difficult to implement.
My lady asked me, again, the other night, why do so-called nationalist men claim that there are no strong nationalist women out “there” on the “battle field”. Usually when most men hear this, they will go off on a tangent about what the black woman is lacking. And the black woman, just like the black woman is lacking a number of things that prevents us to become a true symbiotic entity and nation building team.
However black men often do not practice restraint and self assessment or even self-reflection. We get defensive, when our women demands from us consistency and being men of our word, forgetting the adage…”iron sharpeneth iron”.
While many black women are relentless and unnecessarily cutting with their tongue, often they expect more from us than we expect from ourselves. This is not necessarily a bad thing. Not if we claim kingship and God hood. Superiority and greatness over other men. What many of us do though is accuse the black woman of being difficult, aggressive or out of control. These very same attributes, a black man would find attractive in a woman from another ethnicity.
A regular run of the mill, asleep black woman demands certain responsibility from her mate in the black man. The black nationalist woman of course demands more. It is part of the package that she comes with. And because her standard is not superficial and the bar is high, we as men. Authentic masculine and nationalist men, should strive to meet or exceed her expectations, as long as they are reasonable, rational and achievable. Many a so-called nationalist man, want praised without the effort of working to elicit said praises.
Many want submission, while refusing to be the man worthy of submission. Many seek obedience, yet fail to lead. By example or otherwise. Nationalism for a lot of men and woman is an image thing more than something substantive. But it is less so in the black nationalist woman, who is often 2desirous of a mate that would Areward her efforts. As it has been stated here. Even the most ratchet of women, upon finding a man that she loves, will seek to follow him. The black nationalist woman overstands that a masculine black nationalist man is a gem and would place all her eggs in one basket when she meets one. Unfortunately the black nationalist man is like a kid in a candy store around women looking for that kind of man.
When the competition are mobutos, integrationists, homophiles, pedophiles, swirlers, males with dubious characteristics and ones spiritually imbalanced, most any man that talks a good game and looks half way together, becomes a hot commodity.
Last night my lady showed my a flyer, put out by Baba Mwalimu Baruti, of his annual complementarity event. This is a call for willing men and women to get together and learn about the necessity and requirements of being complimentary in a relationship.
As usual in the past, the women turn up in numbers and the men stay away in numbers. Mwalim Baruti lamented at the lack of black nationalist men who turned out in equal numbers to the women. This is both sad and a pathetic representation of men who claim they seek a woman on their level.
Then again this is why I see many black nationalist men coupling with women far different in image and temperament than a black mationalist woman. These women often are a reflection of who these men truly are. We can talk till the cow comes home after the fat lady sings, stating that damaged boys become damaged men, thus placing blame on absent fathers, sole support mothers or some mythical something called “the system”. However at the end of the day in 2018, no man can or should call on ignorance, helplessness, powerlessness or any number of excuses used before.
If I claim to be a black nationalist, who seeks a compliment that would watch my back, raise strong nationalist children, be an example of black masculinity and “leadership” and authority…..all the talking points I hear spouted by other men. Then I must first know what it entails in being masculine, authoritative ( not dictatorial) with leadership qualities.
The best leaders, lead by example. Often encouraging, teaching and gently being that Jegna a student values. Too many of these black nationalist males become slaves to their egos, arrogantly showing off their “knowledge” without any substance. Many black nationalist will go buck wild in that candy store I mentioned earlier. Boosting up the egos of women, desperate for attention or desperate for some substantive relationship. But even just any kind of relationship. Of course this neediness and desperation places women in a position to be exploited. But a black nationalist man should never seek to exploit a woman. Whether by promoting and fighting hard for polygyny, by entering into serial relationships, only to get his body count up, having side chicks or choosing a mate that does not adhere to or practice the same values you espouse.
If women are truly a flower in the garden of life. And her husband or mate is a fence. He is supposed to be her supporter, nourisher and protector. If he, the black nationalist man claims to want a black nationalist woman, he must be prepared to whether the kind of test she puts to him, that demands him be the example he claims he is.
Many a black women are emotionally damaged from childhood, augmented by peer pressure and the madness of society. Many black nationalist women, experiencing such trauma have the added burden of being ridiculed for their choice to be unapologetically black, awoke and embracing Afurakan cultural sensibility. The pool of available and willing men for this kind of woman suddenly has grown small to nonexistent. And small was last seen buying tickets to leave town. Which means nonexistent will be her only option.
This more than anything is why so many black nationalist women grow old man less, childless, single mothers, in a series of failed relationships, distrustful, bitter, depressed, swirling or even worse than that….homophiles. while the last two mentioned should not be an excuse, suffice to say the bigger the head ache, the bigger the pill. Even if the pill raises your blood pressure astronomically.
We are social creatures. And every sentient being desires companionship. Just because we see a few choose isolation, out of necessity or design, it does not make it the norm. Yet it’s the norm for black nationalist men to fail at being the type of men they claim to be. And the black nationalist woman and the potentiality of a built nation suffers because of it.
I am calling on the single brother to walk the walk and not just talk the talk. I am calling on the coupled up brothers to grow themselves and become more than who they are in the beginning. We can always learn. We must always seek to grow.
It is not for any woman to change on our say so. It is for us to have a unequivocally high standard befitting masculine black nationalist mind set. Such a man will inspire a woman to strive to keep up with Jim, even before he opens his mouth and details his principles.
Be that asafo in the garden and not a gardener on the battle field. Seek out the black nationalist woman and challenge yourself to exceed her expectations. Do so only by raising the bar for yourself. Accomplish that and the songs sang about you will be epic. For it is the masculine man, strong in his conviction and true to himself that will be recognized by the community. Not the broken fences trying to fake strength.
“You Will Know Them by Their Fruits – “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves.”