It’s a man’s world…isn’t it?


Domestic/dating violence is alleged to be a pattern of controlling behaviors that a lover or spouse or even family member uses to get power over the other. It includes:

  • any kind of physical violence or threat of physical violence to get control
  • emotional or mental abuse, such as playing mind games, making you feel crazy, or constantly putting you down or criticizing you
  • Sexual abuse, including making you do anything you don’t want to do, refusing to have safe sex or making you feel badly about yourself sexually
  • It is claimed that about 95% of all domestic violence victims are female. The majority of male victims are assaulted by other men. Little information or even public perception ventures into the area of domestic abuse of men by women
  • One third of American women and one quarter of women worldwide are said to experience domestic/dating violence in their lifetime.
  • An estimated 1.3 million women are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year. Some studies say the numbers are even greater – up to 5.3 million – since most assaults go unreported.
  • Only 25% of all physical assaults perpetuated by intimate partners are reported to the police.
  • Females who are 20-24 years of age are at the greatest risk for intimate partner violence.
  • On average, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends in this country every day. That’s more than 1,100 women a year.
  • Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women – more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.
  • One half of all homeless women in the country are fleeing from domestic violence.
  • Women are more likely to be attacked by someone they know rather than by a stranger.

Obviously domestic violence is a cancerous plague that infects modern society, particularly or more so with the advance of media and religion. Media, for the obvious reason both good and bad, and religion, as it codifies, and justifies domestic violence. One should never, ever forget that women were once held in high esteem, in older cultures as symbols of the grace of the creator and manifestation of the creative force made human. However, when men started flexing and showing off their egos and aggressiveness, violence against females become the norm. On this side of the Atlantic, elements of European or Western cultures invades our DNA where we as players tend to act out scene from the Movie quest for fire, attacking women and each other over women and other territorial shit. Poverty, possessiveness and plain old feeling of inadequacy and other control issues are fertile soil for the growth of violence with domestic violence being one of its many bitter fruits.

It’s interesting that over the past several months a colleague and I have routinely being discussing some issues around the difficulties African males experience in their relationships with either their wives or women friends. Based on his position and interaction with a large group of men, he was able to gather anecdotal stories of men who live outside of the homes they pay a hefty mortgage for. Men who have been taken out of their homes by the state enforcers because they were accused of threatening, or touching their women or breaking some shit they bought in their homes that they are paying for. I myself have been in the presence of women who gleefully recount how they have gotten even with some cat who they felt “deserved” to be jacked up by the po-lice. I have witnessed certain mean spirited women who were bent on exacting revenge from a man whose transgression involved something as simple as demanding that they act in accordance to their martial vows and cease trying to compete with him for head of the house. Of course there are men who haven’t figured it out yet that just because she gives you her body, doesn’t mean she has given her entire soul to you… and she can with draw her affection if she wants.

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