Economic trust is why many relationship struggle

Trust is a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. Its a confidence, belief, faith, certainty, assurance, conviction or credence. A reliance, a belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of a person or situation. Trust is the ability to rely on, depend on, bank on, count on, to be sure of something or someone.

To trust someone in an intimate relationship is the height of all those adjective mentioned. Trust is perhaps the biggest problem that causes a relationship to fail. Moe than extra marital affair. More than physical abuse, more than emotional indifference.

1. “good relationships are built on trust”
2.  “relations have to be built on trust”
3. “I should never have trusted her”

The biggest trust issue continues to be around money. The manufactured being called the kneegrow and even many supposedly enlightened and conscious people have had lie long issues having, growing, keeping and sharing money. And they take that same issues into their relationship, either screwing it up or leaving it limping towards an unhappy existence.

A man and a woman met at a party on a Friday evening and were immediately attracted to one another. After some perfunctory chit-chat he invited her to his house where she remained the entire weekend. The sex was great; the conversation was fabulous. They discussed their respective attitudes on every conceivable subject; they laughed, they reminisced over their childhoods, school, and previous lovers. They talked about every member of their families; they described in detail their interests – many of which they shared – their occupations, and their friends.

Throughout these intimate conversations they made love. He was a fabulous cook and so after going to the market on Saturday morning, he created sumptuous meals for the remainder of her visit. Each mentioned what s/he wanted in a mate and the other corroborated. There was even talk of a future together. By Sunday brunch, each admitted to feeling as if s/he had known each other his/her entire life and quite possibly even prior to this lifetime. Indeed, they had found their soul-mates. After supper on Sunday night when the end of their most ecstatic weekend was about to end, snuggled up watching a romantic movie, promising never to let the other go, she asked, “How much money do you make?” His response was, “That’s personal.”

What is it about $$$ that keeps us from being with each other? I suggest that $$$ is the most glaring evidence of our belief that we are separate from one another.

I am sure when many of us listen to this song, we think about strangers or associates who have either done us wrong over money, denied us money or for whom we would sell our drawers to for money. We don’t however consider the idea that many of these things happen, do happen and continue to happen in our personal relationships, with those whom we should have the utmost trust in. Nothing makes black people mistrustful more than other black people with OR without money. Huh? Well…let’s look at the conditions that make us act retarded around each other in a personal relationship.

Women claim they wouldn’t get into a personal relationship with a man they know has no or little money. I say know, because many a kneegrows have no qualms about tricking a gullible female into believing he has money. He just has to take advantage of her unnatural love for certain images of material wealth. Many modern women who realize they make more money than their compliment, will often act out of pocket because in their minds and under white pathology, the man must make more than the woman. Many woman have this notion that “my money is mine and your money is mine”.

This has become a mantra to a lot of women. A majority of women would rather spend money on themselves, whether to create their own business or spend it on material stuff like hand bags, shoes, hair or clothes. To ask many to cut back on these type of spending for a long term mutual financial growth, is a very daunting task.

Many men are willing to contribute money to a relationship, however it comes with a caveat. These men demand a woman twist herself in a pretzel in order to submit to his demands…because he is the bread winner. Men have their spending habits to that are just as stupid as women.

Very few males or female have the kind of self worth that makes them elevate their vision above the immediate and work towards a goal of collective wealth. Either as an individuals, a couple, a family or a neighborhood. Kneegrows in western countries, or other nations under white pathology have been so brain wash that they would hate on a recent or even an older immigrant community of other ethnics, who come here to make something of themselves. The imitate the savages, who hate the immigrants because their false sense of superiority and imperialism has come home to roost.

Kneegrows though, instead of learning form recent immigrants collective come up, those of us here for a few generations or those who suddenly become entrenched in white ran society, will opt to go on their own selfish ways. While we talk often about the lack of community cohesion, we only give the relationship cohesion a cursory attention.  Imagine if me and my compliment decide that before producing off springs, we decided on a long term power move. Just a one year experiment to start. Where no new clothes is bought, no new accessories are bought. We make our own lunch and take it to work. No restaurants and quick take outs allowed. If we can take public transit, endure it for a year. If a car is necessary get the most affordable one, which does not necessarily mean garbage. Just an affordable car that does the work, not the bat mobile, with all the trappings that too many kneegrows shoot for. This means you get to own it outright or shortly. I know one kat paying $800 for his jeep. And he makes $17 an hour.

If both of them work, why not have the one making the most, concentrate on paying the basic bills? We are talking about a years experiment here. Have a basic phone, cut off the cable and get rid of the teLIEvison. If you absolutely need to use a computer for social media…DON’T!. Save important thing like email for the library or worse, an internet cafe’.

By now i can hear many of your minds clicking off, because you believe that you cannot do without these things. If you have ever been homeless or been around the homeless, you would overstand how hue-man can do without a lot of shit. The less shit you have to carry around, the less distraction and the more focused you are on the one year goal. Imagine presenting this proposal to your compliment? How many black people would do this? This recquiers absolute belief in the goal, trust in your ability to make it work and trust in your complement to work with you on that goal. However, how many of us would extend that trust in the beginning, or in the middle. When wants no doubt would inevitably overcome needs in a me first society?

Wants are the desire to possess something. Needs are a urgent want or requirement. Food is a requirement. This is important for nourishment and survival. The latest gadget that you see your peers sporting develops a want. this is not important from any other position than the ego. I have seen where many savage,scavenger and zinc squatter, practice a race first and a group think philosophy where they pool their moneys, sacrifice certain comfort to achieve a goal. For every one of them we like to say cheats, at least 10 of them bust their asses to achieve the group goal, because they trust each other and trust the process. Then when they show off their trappings of success, we envy them. We are confused as to how they got theirs.

How can we trust each other around money as a group, when we can’t trust each other in our interpersonal relationships? I would suggest that we really consider what this means and why it is necessary to stop having cold sweats around not being able to spend indiscriminately. Not if we also talk about growing comfortable or retiring comfortable. The way the world economy is going right now, more of us will be selling our bodies just to survive, instead of already having our safety nets set up.