Trust in the process!


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Those of us who are awoke enough to our failed station and place under the jack boots of white pathology…so few of us indeed….overstand that the effect and affect is not as blatant as a bullet to the chest, a billy club across the skull, redlining or decades of misedumacation to embrace Eurasian culture over our Afrikan one.

The effect and affect is more powerful when it is subtle. When you don’t see it, so you die from a thousand tiny cuts. The tiny cuts starts and ends with the Eurasian “values”, placed on everything we hold dearest to us. The Eurasian values are presented through a Eurasian world view and Eurasian eyes, mindset and emotions.

Values are something seen as well deserved; It is the importance, worth, or usefulness of something. it is a person’s principles or standards of behavior; It is one’s judgment of what is important in life.

The vehicle the Eurasian uses to traffic his values comes under the guise of Christianity…or Christianinsanity! One of the values of the poison promoted by Christianinsanity, is the ambivalence of the term love! The term is misused, misoverstood, abused and devalued. Under white pathology and Christianinsanity one can have love for a fellow Christian or your “fellow-man”, as long as they submit to that particular form of self-expression. Under white pathology love is either a “Christian love”, to gather and praise a white male figure. Or it is an excuse or a prelude to sexual intercourse of all kinds. All kinds because it is now 2016 and man to woman love is on equal footing along with man to car love, man to man love, man to mannequin love, woman to woman love, woman to kitchen implement love, adult to child love, human to animal love and what is now described as “fluid”!

Obviously love is used here as a one cap fits all kind of skinny jeans fashion statement. No wonder we tend to use the Eurasian term “falling in love” so much, we over look the fact that the most important aspect of this “love” is the maintenance of love. According to any definition, falling is when a person lose one’s balance and collapse. Falling is a move downward, typically rapidly and freely without control, from a higher to a lower level. This idea of falling in love is typically followed by the notion that love is blind! This is another Eurasian aphorism that has within itself a kernel of reality, because it is held as a belief and a truth! Sort of like…if you search for dirt, you will find it, even if the dirt is buried under rich and fertile soil. For it is the dirt you seek , not the rich soil that is more prevalent.

So be careful what you look for, depend on what it looks like on a good-bad scale….you may very well find it!

For us to crawl from under the jack boots of white pathology, one must at least reevaluate our views on love. Love between siblings, love between neighbors, love within the ethnic group, love between the gender and love for self. In the case of interpersonal love. The “love” which exists between a man and a woman, should never be hap-hazardous as to be blind or imbalanced. This “love” should be based on two things of intrinsic value. That is trust in yourself and the other person and in the process. We often hit or miss, with the trust in ourselves and the other, but fail to extend it to the process. The process is slow and often invisible. Because the process is time-consuming and requires patience and faith. Faith is not logical, faith is emotion driven, but under white pathology, faith is used ONLY in an organized reLIEgious context and not in an individual relationship context.

Consider the fact that when you sign up to go to a post educational institution, you have to trust your desires and ability to make it at least through the first semester or year of schooling. You have to trust the government to assist you financially in this effort. You have to trust you meet the entry qualification for whatever course you apply for, and you have to trust the course and teaching that will make you better equipped, out the under end of a four-year course. Equipped and enabled and trusting that your education provides a functionality in modern society.

Like wise when you enter into a “contract”…this is really what any relationship  agreement is. It’s a verbal contractual arrangement to participate mutually in  long-term plan of self growth, self discovery, and cultural expression, which culminates in the extension of said cultural expression through the production of children. When a man and a woman enters into an agreement to be a couple, initially he or she must first have a vision…not society’s expectations or view…but their own personally derived vision of what they want that relationship to look like and be like. They must then trust that they are worthy of and be able to contribute to the relationship.   Then they must extend that trust to the partner in this relationship. Then …just as important, they must trust the process they hopefully had planned out, prior to entering into this verbal “contract” or relationship.

Trust in the individual and trust in the process cannot be mutually exclusive. If you trust the individual and not the process, you end up bailing when the going gets tough. If you trust the process and not the individual, you tend to end up hurt and abused emotionally, physically and spiritually. It is selfish to enter into a relationship without doing due diligence in vetting what you bring to the table, what the other brings to the table and what both of you can contribute to the cuisine at the table. This contribution decides how the food will turn out. As a people lacking any overstanding of our Afrikan cultural context, lacking an original Afrikan cultural world view around relationships, only having knowledge of a Eurasian world view through the reLIEgious eyes, then we will continue to have temporary “situationship”, instead of permanent relationships.

In the past I have been bold in stating that an interpersonal relationship should be treated just like a typical business relationship. Many of us will put more effort and more patience, faith and more sweat equity in to a business relationship, than we do in a personal one. This is because we integrate contingency plans in place for if and when there are difficult periods on the business horizon. For when there are financial short fall. For when there are lean times. That is if you have a strong trust in your business vision.  Most of us believe and trust in the business process and what they bring to the table. In a personal relationship we tend to lack a plan, we go in blind and off-balance and we go in already lacking any trust in each other and ourselves. Therefore when the process fails, it seems like an expected consequence of doing “business” with a untrustworthy “partner”. We go into a relationship LOOKING FOR DIRT, instead of expecting and preparing to adjust to subtle shifts in the process.

Image result for He strengthens her, she balances him

In the past I have been bold in stating that in ancient cultures, some which still practice this in a few rural areas around the planet, a relationship starts out with liking certain qualities in another. They start out being “attracted” to her or him and certain things we find most appealing. Often I have stated that the things that attract us in the beginning of a relationship is what ends up turning us off in the middle and the end. But why is this so? Because we under look the value of growth from like to “love”. Love is a process not something you start out with. It is a destiny.  The process is the vehicle. If we overstand this then in a relationship, if you like my personality or I like your quirkiness, then as long as we believe and trust the process, you will overstand and embrace my personality and I will do the same with your quirkiness.

We end up hating what attracts us in the other because we seek to CHANGE the other instead of accepting and incorporating these things in the process. Please overstand, that if i am a notorious gang banger and killer, nothing in the world will make me change for you and nothing you do will change me. So to complain that this “killer” fails to become a kat that ends up feeding homeless people, or end up teaching youth how to be productive in society, will be based on my own journey. Not your wishes.

As long as whatever attracts me to you and you to me, something that is of positive value moving forward, then we must trust that the long-term and short-term planning involves trust that the process will iron out any wrinkles there in. And there will be wrinkles, because relationships have wrinkles, hills, values, stumbling blocks, hitches, pain and joy. Relationships will often be salvaged like the old folks say..”if its broke, we fix it, not throw it out”! A woman in a relationship hitches her happiness on the feeling of being loved. A man hitches his happiness on being respected. You can respect me without “loving” me and as a mature man, I should be good. But you can’t love me and not respect me. This is non sustainable. It is an emotional and subjective state, without any serious planning in place. If i love you I MUST respect you. If I don’t then that is also non sustainable. It is a mechanical effort without the electrical juice that colors it. Man and women see each other through the same glass. Even though the end result comes from a different color prism (clarification or distortion afforded by a particular viewpoint).

She will love me and may not respect me, because of her being influenced by the non-sustainable world view of the Eurasian conqueror. I am nourished by the need for respect. I can “respect her” and not love her, because I am influenced by a non-sustainable world view of the Eurasian. She is nourished by the feeling of being loved.

This is where trust in yourself and trust in the process becomes vital. Keep in mind that the modern black person approaches a relationship, culturally and emotionally broken and twisted by a limited and misunderstood overstanding of love in a relationship. I want to exit this post with formula I have developed over the years.

Love is a present wrapped in a box. Contained in the box are a series of goodies; friendship, laughter, intelligent conversation, respect, trust, mutual goal settings, being comfortably, sex, touching, honesty, acceptance, pain, sorrow, anger, hurt, forgiveness, growth, sincerity, being able to apologizes, and willing to put in work, when the work becomes tedious.

The box is the process you trust to hold the package together. The beautiful wrapping is the love others see from the outside, but will not see the box that holds the contents. Many see the shape of the box, but don’t know the worth or strength of the box…or even the wrapping.

We should first see the world as it is and not what we want it to be. And we must trust ourselves, the other in the relationship and most importantly, we must trust the process. In order to have a process, we must first decide what the process is, how the process should look like, how it is laid out and what is needed from each of you to make it work. Such a venture is a journey. Such a journey should never be entered into blindly or off balanced.

Shout out to all who have a plan and who work the hell out of that plan. You are the real MVP!

The Black Love campaign

 

 

 

 

4 thoughts on “Trust in the process!

  1. “Love is a present wrapped in a box. Contained in the box are a series of goodies; friendship, laughter, intelligent conversation, respect, trust, mutual goal settings, being comfortably, sex, touching, honesty, acceptance, pain, sorrow, anger, hurt, forgiveness, growth, sincerity, being able to apologizes, and willing to put in work, when the work becomes tedious.

    The box is the process you trust to hold the package together. The beautiful wrapping is the love others see from the outside, but will not see the box that holds the contents. Many see the shape of the box, but don’t know the worth or strength of the box…or even the wrapping.”
    Beautiful post! And very much needed in this day and time.

    Like

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