In actuality everyday above ground is a good day. My mantra has always been, if I can wake up and get out of bed under my volition. And if i get the occasional woody in the morning. All is good and every thing for the rest of the day is gravy.
Og Mandino, author of the greatest sales man on earth, revealed 10 secrets to success, as outlined in that book. These 10 secrets were buried in 10 different scrolls and we’re used to make two individuals extremely wealthy, before the secrets were revealed to the world.
The most memorable quote, and the first line from the first scroll was this:
“I WILL GREET THIS DAY WITH LOVE IN MY HEART”
This statement is so profound that if you were not immediately hooked by this simple declaration then you and everything you think you know, had not prepared you with any faculty of over standing.
I WILL GREET THIS DAY WITH LOVE IN MY HEART
Ever had one of those days where things just click? That made you feel like all the little stumbles up to this point was worth it?
They past two weeks was a heavy one for me. I had entered a very dark pit of my own design and as such bore the self-inflicted scars. Being a Virgo I tend to suffer from numerous self-inflicted wounds, because of the inability sometimes, to NOT take things literally.
It’s an affliction called “tight assness”.
As a work in progress, I have had more good days than bad days, but the universe never sleeps. And i should know not to as well. During this two week period, the stress was so severe, it affected my ability to function optimally. I was a physical wreck. Unable to sleep, physically tired, I decide I need to do something to effect a change or risk hurting myself.
So I decided to go to a doctor to get a checkup and get a doctor’s note to book off work. I used the “sick time” to work on that “reset”, I spoke of in my last post. Also during that “sick time ” I lost someone dearest to me. A loss that left a hole in my center, but a loss incredible enough, finally forced me to question the shit that I have done and did do.
Most people would have literally died from the impact of that loss. But instead I used it as a motivation to regroup. Many of us have had a variety of losses. And things dear to us, we have allowed to be lost. Many of these losses are often of our own making and design which paves the way for guilt to creep in and become the cloak we wear throughout the day.
Yet was it not the Buddha who stated, if you love something let it go. If it returns it is yours. If it doesn’t it never was. For many of us the greatest thing we can let go of, is fear. The greatest loss we could experience in this world is health. Health because death is an inevitability and only a fool rage against it. Especially in old age.
But ill-health can be like that 1000 lbs weight you bear while treading in deep waters. Apart from the direct, nefarious working of the agents of white pathology, many of our ill-health are of our own making.
For me, my reset was only the first step in the journey of a thousand miles. I returned to the doctor today to get another note. I wanted to delay going back to work, because frankly I had intended to leave, so the delay would given me time to find an alternate income source.
I was still experiencing sleep issues, even after noting how the warm weather had eased my seasonal allergy attack. An attack which had pestered me for almost two month. I had gotten up at 2:30 am as usual, but instead of tossing and turning, got up and went for a run.
Prior to this run, I only did power walking over to a nearby park, where I used a set of stairs to increase the work on my legs and lungs. But this morning I ran for a mile.
The expert runner among my readers will probably laugh at me for this trivial bit of distance. But I am 55 years old. Soon to be 56. I have athletes knees and hips from playing basketball on hard top and semi pro football for eight years. The power walking was supposed to be an easing into the running. Which I had planned to proceed with, month down the road. Only people with athletic knees will overstand, the pain and effort involved going down a set of stairs sideways to prevent the knee from collapsing.
My right knee had been operated on and my left knee had deteriorated to the point where if you blow on it, I would probably fall over. This was because i had fallen off the health wagon. Fell of the road that the wagon was on. And fell over the cliff the road sat on. I became overweight in an instant. My stress level shot up like a mother fucker. And my knee were two very vocal recipients of my lax.
Yes after my impromptu run, my left knee hurt like the dickens. But I was rewarded with unbelievable muscle soreness and left knee pain. Of the good kind. The muscle soreness was my body telling me “bitch. You ain’t in shape. Stay in your no exercise having lane”
To which I yelled back, “fuck you! Pain is a sign that you are alive”! LOLOLOLOL…
I had that shit beat into me everyday at 5:30 when I did PT, during basic training. Summer, winter, spring and fall.
Pain is a sign that weakness is leaving the body. This was another mantra as well. Boy was I in glorious pain. And feeling alive.
It seemed like the news could only get better as the doctor sat me down, stood over me and stated seriously, “since yesterday I have analyzed over two hundred blood pressure charts and you are the kind of patient I would never want to see in my office again…. until you are ninety-nine years old”.
Now I knew my pressure was always good. Better than people ten years my junior, but when he told me my chart was perfect, my kidneys and liver were perfect and I had no signs of diabetes, it further put me in a good mood. Doctor told me I only had a slight cholesterol elevation. An issue evidentiary by being overweight and an indication I need to stay away from starchy or fried foods.
We both concurred that my stress issues contributed to me stuffing shit in my mouth, I normally never used to do. But if that was the ONLY physical issue, then I had already taken steps during my reset, to rectify.
I was juicing again and drinking water hard for the last five days. And planned not to let up. Now all I had to deal with was that which was stressing me out. It was an issue I was dealing with long before the loss of my dearest friend. But coupled with that loss made me cling to the knowledge that
“Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough”.
It made me embrace the fact that ill-health, whether of your own design, or outside influence, can only fester and grow if you drop your guard and fail to be vigilant at all times. The loss of physical health is tragic. But the infection and turmoil of stress can debilitate even the strongest person. Stress can lead to depression. An even deeper hole to fall into. Something we all hover around at some point in our lives.