Hypocrites and parasite will come up to take a bite

Who the cap fit

Man to man is so unjust, children:
Ya don’t know who to trust.
Your worst enemy could be your best friend, And your best friend your worse enemy.

It is often said that a thing best left unsaid is better than being addressed. Often times the people who you are in your corner are your biggest detractors.

Some will eat and drink with you,
Then behind them su-su ‘pon you.
Only your friend know your secrets,
So only he could reveal it.

The Jamaican dance hall community is not just a community of entertainers. They unlike many other communities around the world, strongly reflect the mindset of the socity at large. At least for the socially impoverished and te impoverished of mind.
And who the cap fit, let them wear it!
Who the cap fit, let them wear it!
Said I throw me corn, me no call no fowl;
I saying, “Cook-cook-cook, cluk-cluk-cluk.”

When it came out that infamous dance hall icon Bounty Killah had warned female singer Ishawna not to sing her hit tune Equal Rights: what that tongue can do, i thought it was just posturing. Apparently his veiled warning about potentially harming her, if she sang that song at any show they both appeared in has drawn three sides to this story. Three sides you say? One side you have the misogynist, who insist that any Jamaican man licking a womans vagina is a mortal sin and should face serious retaliation. And any woman who suggest this should be dealt with forcefully. On the other side you have few men not ashamed of licking a womans vagina, supporting and loving the song. Though the way many in Jamaican society can devolve into frenzied violence in heart beat, i am uncertain if these men would publicly declare their love of cunnilingus.

Thirdly are the women who big up Ishawna for publicly talking about things that women talk about when we are not around them.

Some will hate you, pretend they love you now, Then behind they try to eliminate you. But who Jah bless, no one curse;
Thank God, we’re past the worse.

Alas there is a fourth element recently added to this initial pyramid of confusion, where you have people like Maka Diamond, she who is no dance hall saint, claiming that Ishawna’s song is for freaky women and men, but people like her who is not freaky,  feel the song is too much.

Say fucking what? This is what happens when weak personalities feel social pressure to act and behave as if they are holding a moral ground. As my good friend Margarete told me…”some people think a moral (mural) is something you hang on a wall”.

Hypocrites and parasites
Will come up and take a bite.
And if your night should turn to day,
A lot of people would run away.
And who the stock fit let them wear it!
Who the (cap fit) let them (wear it)!

My dear readers, have you seen what exist as dance hall entertainment these days? Not just the gymnastics, or the wwf cage matches, but the lyrics involved? From promoting violence, rape, sexual domination of women, cheating and all kinds of sundry shenanigans by hyper masculine imitation of real masculinity, to the hyper aggressive, sluttish behavior o their female counterpart.

Dance hall for the past 30 years is an exhibition of hedonism and sexual excess. The only thing taboo in this schizophrenic social setting, is the out right homosexual affirmation or in Ishawna’s case, a woman demanding oral sex from a man.

No more beloved icon than Mutabaruka has been attacked for questioning why man who sings about murdering other men. A man who many claim himself is a bow cat, would threaten a woman merely for singing a song. They accuse Mutabaruka of being a fake Rasta and supporter of oral sex, when the elder never did this. All he asked was why the threats.

If Mutabaruka not holding up Selassie as a god and refuse to smoke marijuana didn’t make him a”fake” Rasta in many eyes, before. Then i guess this is supposed to ensure his detractors can use as an excuse to ignore his valid question.

It seems like a lot of these kneegrows are scared that any woman they try to fuck, may demand equal rights in the oral sex department and are trying hard to circumvent the movement.

A lot of you keegrows should learn to be quiet if you have nothing of substance to offer when adults are in the room. This includes reprobates and misogynist like Bounty Killer and his ilk. This also includes people like Maka Diamond who is mining for likes from the male centric dacehall culture.

I don’t believe in kissing and telling and i am uncomfortable with people sharing their sexscapade publicly. However j over stand that the nature of modern dacehall is all about being outrageous.

And fyi..the song is catchy the subject matter is consistent and is not singing any thing a lot of women are not already feeling in their hearts
And then a-gonna throw me corn,
And then a-gonna call no fowl,
And then a-gonna “Cook-cook-cook, cluk-cluk-cluk.”

Some will eat and drink with you,
Then behind them su-su ‘pon you, yeah!
And if night should turn to day, now,
A lot of people would run away, yeah!
And who the cap fit, let them wear it!
Who the cap fit, let them wear it!
Throw me corn, me no call no fowl;
A-saying: “Cook-cook-cook, cluk-cluk-cluk.”
… : “Cook-cook-cook, cluk-cluk-cluk.”
Throw me corn (cook-cook-cook);
Me call no fowl (cluk-cluk-cluk)

We as men need to stop telling women how to feel or what to speak on if it is concerning “women things”. We must be a guide to them ONLY if we are trusted be a guide to them, by them. Otherwise it is not only arrogant but quite alarming to tell a grown woman she shouldnt be asking for oral sex, when we often demand, or force oral sex on them.

No wonder so many of these kneegrow are turning homosexuals. The anger and hatred to women over the most trivial of things makes us look weak and behaving worse than the savage. The original misogynist.

Affairs of the heart is a battlefield

I was going title this post, “love is a battlefield”, like that Pat Benatar song, but that would be inaccurate as love is not violent or should be violent. A battlefield is a place of extreme violence and attrition. Such a place can never be an inspiration for such a beautiful emotion as love.

There is an old saying; “if you love something let it go. If it returns to you it was yours. If it doesn’t return it was never yours”. Of course the cynic among us put their own twist on it by saying, “if it doest return, hunt it down and kill it”

Another version of this statement instructs us to “stalk it”. Whatever version you choose, rest assured that the simple but complicated emotion called love is enough to make the affairs of the heart a battlefield of churning emotions.

Years ago while walking through the isles of a grocery store I came upon an older black male who was doing some shopping by himself. I watched the elder as he picked up a can of something and was reading the label. Probably checking out the price, to see if it was with in his budget. Now i am not an empath, but the wave of emotion of loneliness that came off this man transfix me.

I thought to myself that i would never want to be in his shoes. I am a natural introvert, I enjoy the company of my own company. Over the years due to various circumstances, i have learned to pick when to be introverted and when to be sociable. Most people fail to see the difference between loneliness and aloneness.

Loneliness is being in a crowd and feeling hemmed in. Feeling like you’re on this island that nobody sees or care if you are noticed…or not. Aloneness is being in that same crowd and feeling quite comfortable on your little island. So much so that if somebody ventures over to talk to you, it would take you a good few minutes to get motivated in order to fully engage them.

The feeling of loneliness is also a by product of not being loved. Not having someone to care for them. Truly care for them instead of feeling “obligated’ to do as little as possible. If one feels unloved, they are often incapable of giving love. Whitney Huston sang that the greatest love of all can be found in you….YOU!

So many of us though, are ignorant to and in fear of the the YOU part of the loving equation. We project something called “love” on to others. Others that somehow attracts our interests. Often we don’t know why we are attracted to someone, so we latch on to superficialities of attraction and call it love. The superficialities i speak of are purely physical. Purely aesthetic. based on solely on how you look, how you dress, what you make or how your social status appears to you and others.

In different stages of our lives we have all interacted with people of different ages and social status based on our own false notion of what they should be and how they should present themselves. We even do it to our own children, this is why we get so easily disappointed when the object of our projection fails to live up to the projected image. We get upset and react accordingly.

There is a passage in the bible that has always resonated with me as a child.

1 Corinthians 13

1 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. (just a noise maker)

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.

If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking,it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

For we know in part and we prophesy in part,

10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears.

11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.

12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me

As men growing into ourselves when we extend genuine love to our siblings, parents, children, close relatives and complement, we are elevated in society. This elevation is different than the elevation of  a woman. A woman’s very nature and image, if it is in balance, is all about love. A man’s very nature and image is viewed differently. A man who loves, appears gentle was at one time in the past, extremely admired, because that gentleness comes from a a place often accepted as fierce physicality.

When a man loves a woman in this way,… gentle, caring, considerate and compassionate, she feels secure and contented.

“A woman is a flower in a garden; her husband is the fence around it

As men we see women…or have been taught to see women as delicate creatures. Delicate flowers. What they never told us was what kind of flower women are. Just like all flowers are different yet have a basic nature of plants, women have their differences, but have  basic nature natural to them. A true conusore of flowers and women overstand how to take care of each. Osho identifies how a gardener treats a flower.

He states:-

“If you love a flower, don’t pick it up, because if you pick it up it dies and it ceases to be what you love. So if you love a flower, let it be. Love is not possession. Love is about appreciation”

Love is not possession!

This is such a simple, yet misunderstood sentiment. Love is not possession. This is where we engage in a battle. A battle with ourselves. Within our hearts. With our emotions churning chaotically.  We seek to possess what we say we love. Yet failing to realize that very possessiveness is what drives our loves away.  Love is a mature expression of your attraction to something or someone. The mature adults never fall in love, but grow in love. Growing in love is the turtle that starts out slow and steady and arrives at the finish line that way. Anything that starts out fast and explosive always spends its energy long before the finish.

This requires deep thinking.

If you love a person, if you say you love a person, you must accept the total person. With all their defects. Because those defects are part of the whole person. Never try to change a person you love, because the very effort to change them indicates that you pick and chose what to love and ignore the other parts. That is not real love. That is anything but love.

Now if that person chooses to change or clean up certain aspects of their defects, as long as it is done in sincerity and without compunction or discomfort, that person is showing us how much THEY love us! Showing how much they love us, that they are willing to become more symbiotic with us. Becoming more of a singular unit. Consequently you with all your defects must consider this:

The Chinese have a saying. Fall down seven times, get back up eight. Love is a process, that requires a multiplicity of effort.  Yes the affairs of the heart IS a battlefield. But love itself is not. If anything love is a causality between your heart and your value system. The same value system that taught you that you must pick that flower, instead of admiring it. The same value system that teaches us that love is possessiveness.

As we journey into that unknown territory, we must hold this truth close to our chest.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proudIt does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking,it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

This is not the profile of a battlefield.

Chronicles of the long distance runner. pt4

Mind control

No! It’s not that one you’re thinking of. This is about controlling your own mind. This morning it was difficult to get up out of bed. The body was sore and my mind kept whispering seductively…”just lay down a little longer”.

The bed was so comfy….but my why was strong. Sun Tzu said ” every battle is won, before it is fought”. This is because one must first engage the mind. Introducing the WHY will create the how. Once the how is properly explored then it is that much easier and confidence evoking to initiate the battle on the physical level.

In this case the battle for me is to get through day twelve of my journey to the next level fitness. Yesterday i had introduced a nother exercise into the mix after my “road work”. It left me sore from my upper back down to my legs. So of course the body was protesting…”shit! Not again”!

Interestingly enough my surgical knee was not the biggest whiner. It was muscle soreness. To me this was good. The weakness was kicking and screaming as I expelled it from my body. Much too many times in our lives we face situations where the mind gets into conflict with itself. One section of the mind has already been given a vision of what we want and sometimes how to go about getting it. But there is another section that fears the discomfort of the work. Fears the discomfort of the pain. So it makes an emergency call to your heart for help.

The mind CAN make the body do things it doesn’t want to do OR didn’t know it could do. But the mind is fuelled by your emotional fire. And your emotional investment is what sustains you. Even after logic and intellectualization has run its course. The mind, that sneaky bastard, calls up on the emotion and filled it with all kinds of negative reasons why it can’t be done. Easily influenced just as much as it is easily influential, your emotions then run amok.

This is why controlling the mind and its influence on the emotion is crucial. Be like water. Calm yourself in the face of challenges. A calm state of mind quiets any emotional upheaval and allows for clarity of thinking.

A calm state of mind is more receptive to the why of your decision, when you need its reminder most. Discipline your mind is the first step in discipline your emotions. Once you have disciplined your emotions in all areas of people activity, your decision making process runs more efficient.

This requires some deep thinking.