In praise of the ‘Round The Way Girl

A yoke is a wooden bar that joins two oxen to each other and to the burden they pull. An “unequally yoked” team has one stronger ox and one weaker, or one taller and one shorter. The weaker or shorter ox would walk more slowly than the taller, stronger one, causing the load to go around in circles. When oxen are unequally yoked, they cannot perform the task set before them. Instead of working together, they are at odds with one another.

The term unequally yolked can also be used to describe an interpersonal relationship between a man and a woman. Based on the western and european centered standard or a media driven fantasy of what makes the “ideal” mate, as Afrikan in the diaspora, we have fallen victim to hitching our “yolk”…. work/purpose/goals…. to someone that does not compliment our worldview, maturity evel, experience level or standards.

In the western countries or countries currently excessively influenced by western culture, relationships are often interchanged or changed as often as most change their sox or underwear. Meaning that relationships in today’s society are treated like disposable materials. Discarded on an emotional wim, because people believe they can replace any and every person that enters into their lives.

When the protagonist in her song, told Beyonce she would never find another man like him, she replied thusly…

“Standing in the front yard
Tellin’ me, how I’m such a fool
Talkin’ ’bout, I’ll never ever find a man like you
You got me twisted

You must not know about me, you must not know about me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter of fact, he’ll be here in a minute, baby
You must not know about me, you must not know about me
I can have another you by tomorrow
So don’t you ever for a second get to thinking
You’re irreplaceable”

A lot of today’s females embrace the lyrics of this very married, millionaire mother and wife to another millionaire as the epitome of female independence. So they go out and exercise their independence by entering into a situation-ship where someone fails to carry their weight.

For me my tastes are really simple (with a tepid apology to LL Fool J)….

I want a girl with (out) extensions in her hair
Bamboo earrings, at least two pair
She don’t need a Fendi bag nor a bad attitude
That’s all I need to get me in a good mood
She can walk with a switch and talk with street slang
I love it when a woman ain’t scared to do her thing

(instead of being susceptible to social media trends and peer pressure)
Standing at the bus stop sucking on a lollipop
Once she gets pumping its hard to make that hottie stop
She likes to dance to an Afrikan jam
She sweet as brown sugar with the Fufu and yellow yams
Dark chocolate complexion, using Shea butter,
Lets hear it for the girl, she’s from around the way

I need an around the way girl
Around the way girl
That’s the one for me
She’s the only one for me
I need an around the way girl

Silky, milky her smile is like sunshine
That’s why I had to dedicate at least one rhyme
To all the cuties in the neighborhood
Cause if I didn’t tell you then another brother would
Your sweet like buckwheat honey with your gangster talk
Want to eat you like a marijuana cookie when I see you walk

With your rayon, silk or maybe even denim
It really doesn’t matter as long as you’re in ’em
You can break hearts and manipulate minds
Or surrender, act tender, be gentle and kind
You always know what to say and do
Cold flip when you think your man is playing you
Not cheap or petty, you’re ready for loving
You’re real independent so your parents be bugging
But if you ever need a place to stay
Come around my way

Locks on your head or any natural style
Witcha RBG and SBP button on your sleeve
I tell you come here, you say meet me half way
Cause brothers been popping that game all day
Around the way you’re like a neighborhood jewel
All the home boys sweat you so you’re crazy cool
Wear your gold in the summer with your Afrikan skirt
While you watching all the brothers on the basketball court
Going to the cultural events with your home-girls crew
While the businessmen in suits be hawking you
Baby, hair pumping, lip gloss is shining
I think you in the mood for wining and dining
So we can go out and eat somewhere
We got a lot of private jokes to share
Lisa, Angela, Pamela, Renee
I love you, you’re from around the way