Today divorce rate is hovering somewhere between 50% and 60% and people are flummoxed as to why this is happening. Every reason and excuse is giving, including the throwaway nature of society, the sexual revolution to lack of commitment by African males to his complement. One of the prevailing themes that seem to go permeate the dialogue about male-female discord is the high degree of suspicion each gender has about the other’s trustworthiness.

In a 2004 article on the “Five Myths about Women,” author Marc H. Rudov, dispelled the long-held belief in our society that men are the cheaters. Women are equal-opportunity practitioners of infidelity. Rudov’s recommendation includes this gem: “Unless men and women eradicate their outdated socialized behaviors and relate as peers, they never really will get along. There is no excuse for this painful disconnect: men and women are virtually the same and absolutely equal.”

When author Sharazad Ali first came out with her groundbreaking book The Black man’s guide to understanding black women, some of her most ardent and harshest critics were African males. Now I ma not sure if some of these cats were looking for “cookie” points with the women in their lives, but it was significant that a lot of women in the end, supported Mrs. Ali in her assessment that a lot of African women are out of control and in order to correct that, he had to over-stand who she is and how she thinks.

You see it on the Internet, in the back of alternative magazines and even in local and national papers…in the personal section. Men and women looking for companionship. Of course the men’s are often direct and fantasy laden, where as the one put out by women “claim” to be more “serious”, but if you read between the line the need to roam is just as strong even if the language is less blunt.

As the years go by women at the behest of a society that urges us to throw off the “old” way of viewing relationships, encourages women to get hers too. The feminist movement, the increasing numbers of women in the non-traditional work sector, including management and upper management, has created a volatile environment of sexual attraction leading to sexual tryst.

Below are some search words and or titles, culled from the Internet from mostly women looking for excitement.

  1. Women seeking men for sex in California
  2. Married women who cheat in Dallas
  3. Cheating girlfriends explained
  4. Married women who like to cheat with younger guys
  5. Loser’s guide to women
  6. Why women cheat on boyfriends?
  7. Clues of a cheating woman
  8. How a married man can keep a single women
  9. Why do girls break relationships once they have been given a ring?
  10. Why women can’t commit in a relationship
  11. Girlfriend expects me to pay for everything
  12. A real player never gives women the impression he is a player
  13. How to succeed with women by being a jerk
  14. Why do women leave relationships for no reason?
  15. My girlfriend is having sex with her ex-husband
  16. Rules of being the mistress of a married man
  17. Getting ahead by cheating on your man
  18. Loving a married man and having a boyfriend
  19. How to attract, seduce, and keep a man
  20. Expected behavior of a mistress to a married man
  21. Why do women want to be a man’s mistress?
  22. How to seduce a married man
  23. Would a woman admit cheating on spouse?
  24. Why do married women cheat on vacation?
  25. Why do women go back with cheating guys?
  26. Women who cheat while traveling on business
  27. Married women cheating with younger men
  28. Married women cheating with women
  29. Why women hate beautiful women
  30. Why older women cheat?
  31. Women who chase after another woman’s man

For more than a decade, I’ve noticed the trend where numerous books, talk shows, newspaper columns, research papers and gossips, all detail the problems with a cheating man. Who he is, why he does it, the consequences, the legacies etc. Yet where are the volumes of information about the cheating woman. After all who is the cheating man cheating with (that is if he is not on the down low.) Today African women find themselves equally, sometimes a leading, part of the controversial landscape surrounding cheating. Sometimes infamy gets people paid bringing more than their requisite 15 minutes. Witness Karrine Steffans and Nicole Narrain just this month.

Some cheating songs from the other side.

Oran juice Jones – In the Rain
Cold busted by an old school playa

Kelly Pryce -as we lay
Wanting more than what she got

Billie Paul – Me and Mrs Jones
Listen carefully to the lyrics…two sneaking out

Millie Jackson – If loving you is wrong
Mrs thang gave her reasons

Millie Jackson – Cheating is fantastic
There it is, no appologies

Atlantic Star-Secret Lovers
A standard for cheating songs

****Note: Reader Anita had challenged me to produce a post detailing how White Supremacy (my words) conspire to separate  the African man and woman. That should be a powerful post and it should be coming soon.

Asante sana

Reader Anita

3 thoughts on “The Cheating Women

  1. true dat! I too believe that both the positive and negitive processes are developed AND reinforced at home through practice and modeling . Then they are cemented, reinforced and rewarded by the larger society.

    Case in point, the brother who has mulitple women but has no companioin is styled a player, eligable bachelor or dating single (recognize the code words).

    For awhile the sisters were not allowed to step out of the prescribed box society set up for them, now you have sex in the city type of behaviour which is reinforced by the oprahs in the media. Ultimately our children model what we do more than what we say.


  2. Thanks Sankofa I am looking forward to if.
    I believe the source of adult dysfunction, cheating or other dysfunctional behaviour starts with patterns of behaviour created in a child’s home environment and is reinforced by a larger culture (society) that is becoming increasingly dysfunctional. One’s self worth and peace of mind is a sate of being no one can give you that or take it away.


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