Thug Lovin’ is a novel by author Wahida Clark.  Born and raised in Trenton, New Jersey. Clark began writing fiction while incarcerated at a woman’s federal camp in Lexington, Kentucky. Her first novel, Thugs and the Women Who Love Them, and the sequel, Every Thug Needs a Lady, appeared on the Essence bestsellers list. Since her release, Wahida has achieved much success with her follow-up of Thug Matrimony. Her most recent work Payback With Ya Life, made its way onto the prestigious New York Times bestseller’s list.






The novel revolves around Tasha and Trae, the hood’s favorite couple, who are still together following the events of Thug Matrimony. Even with their relocation to sunny Los Angeles, the drama of New York cannot be escaped. They experience continuous drama, from running a nightclub to dealing with models, shady lawyers, big money, new kinds of temptations, seductions, and drugs-not to mention new love interests, while trying to “weather all the storms and keep it together”.



According to the dictionary, a thug is an aggressive and violent young criminal. The term has become a normal speech in the lexicon of the media driven society we live in. It has also become a badge of honor and is often accompanied by other brilliant social identification markers, such as NIGGAS, NIGGAHZ and NIGGERS. In fact each of the above descriptions are too often associated with and applied to young African males, particularly athletes and those who are lovers of or prominent in the hip hop culture.

It is said that…” slaves and dogs are named by their masters, but a free man names himself…”. As stated in numerous posts on blackmystory, the name we call ourselves becomes the energy we carry.

The English word “thug” and “thugs” originally was a truncation of – Thuggee (or tuggee,) which is a Hindi name for ‘thief’, or Sanskrit name for ‘scoundrel’, it is also said to mean ‘to conceal’.   Thuggee is one of many Indian words borrowed into English during the British colonial period. The English connotation of ‘thug’ is synonymous with terms like hoodlum and hooligan, each indicating a person (who may or may not be anti-social) who harasses others, usually for hire. People regarded as thugs might commit assault (or ‘menace’), battery, even robbery and grievous bodily harm, but they usually stop short of murder.

In the heyday of Thuggee activity, they were typically part of a traveling group as people didn’t travell alone, therefore the term Thuggee typically referred to the killing of a large number of people in a single operation. This aspect distinguishes the Thuggee from the similar concept of Dacoity, which means simple armed robbery.

The Thugee was an Indian network of secret fraternities engaged in ritual murdering and robbing of travelers. Thuggee’s operated from at least the 17th century (and possibly as early as 13th century) and usually travel in pairs, though they can work alone or in groups of four to six members, and are typically open about their presence (except to law enforcement officials).  

The “Thuggee” were covert and operated as members of a group, often called a “Thuggee cult” by the British. Hence, the word “Thuggee” is capitalized while the word “thug” usually is not; this enables distinction of a “Thug” (here, a short form of “Thuggee”) from a “thug”…






The phenomena of being a thug and living a thug’s life, as espoused by Tupac Shukur, Bone Thugs “N” Harmony and others, has created a warped fascination with the type of male image, many women believe exemplifies manliness, independence and strength. These misguided women yearn for that strong brother as apposed to the genuflecting, crossing over sell outs that we sometimes identify with the economical or socially successful African males, whose success is in  context of this psychopathic society. The mere fact that not every economically/socially successful African achiever is a knee-grow nor the fact that not every dreadlock wearing, Swahili talking brother with an African name is straight up, tends to be lost on many of us, male and female.

Thug culture is about recklessness, being physical ( many of them are into weight lifting and showing off their musculature), they believe in taking no shit and using violence as a statement. Being hard or trying to be hard is a hallmark of thug culture and since the thug’s image or reputation is to be preserved at all times, a thug will and often do, look for a reason to make a statement; Usually through violence. Outside of sports and entertainment, must thugs may not have a pot to piss in, but if he does, the pot’s it’s often in his name only.  Since men in the thug culture either have limited formal education that can aid them in this money based value system, they needed to “hustle” unconventionally. The thug unfortunately believes in the outlaw or gangstah way of hustlin’, therefore thug culture evolves further into a culture of criminality.  Even if it appears he has a legal gig, it must be or appears that he has to be involved in some dangerous endeavor that has nothing to do with protecting the community, culture or people.

Out of this culture comes the concept of Thug love.  Intelligent people overstand that African women are not immune to the feminine desires, needs and willingness to submit, gravitate and give them selves adoringly to the image of a “manly man”, a take charge, masculine representation of themselves.  Due to our psychological abuse before, during and after the African Ma’afa, with out the benefit of reparations or clinical psychotherapy to alleviate the massive trauma of this holocaust, the African female and male, has developed a misplaced idea as to what a man is and how he should act and present himself.  

This is the appeal, the vortex that pulls in seemingly educated, smart and upright females (as opposed to the female thugs – but that’s expected). I can’t count how many times I hear emotionally damaged females talk about the need to have their man keep them in check physically. However, thug love is not an isolated thing. It is an emotional dependency developed from child hood lack and causes them to crave relationships with drug dealers, violent criminals, and bad elements of various sorts. Thug love doesn’t just ruin the lives of African women; it puts their children at risk, it can cost the lives of the children of other people whom these women come into contact with.

The murders of Jennifer Hudson’s brother, nephew and mother and the murder of Serena’s and Venus William’s sister are the results of thug lovin’ gone wrong. These women are not just showing disregard for their personal safety, but they end up sacrificing the lives of others…

Often African women lament the lack of quality men that matches them on an intelligent, educational or economical level, yet they ironically date someone with a limited future, bad attitude, and a firm embraces on violence and criminality.  The conundrum that African men with morals have is in overstanding the fascination African women have with these, the weakest links.

Unfortunately, since this type of guy shows right up front with his unkempt hair or a panty on his head that’s covering his fucked up greasy doo, low riddin’ in his low sagging pants, limited or unintelligible vocabulary and, as stated previously, limited outlook on life that he will betray her, beat her, steal from her, and publically embarrass her.  Yet she continues to date him. If the African woman has children with this “fine specimen”, then she is in no position to question what happened to the “good” African men.  

To have a child by him, is to recreate him, so lamenting about the lack of a “good” African man is bullshit! and only serve to draw attention from these women’s lack of taste, pride  and common sense.  For every African female bold enough or arrogant enough to talk about what African men need to bring to a relationship, without looking at what she needs to bring, all the while making a conscious decision to open her legs for and procreate with, these men, then their complaint about …your thug lover, will only get a chorus of “serves you right, dumb bitch!”, from those who don’t care!

African women need to stop playing this very dangerous game and demand more of themselves and of themen they are having sex with!  Thug Love” and “Thug Lovers” are marketed and promoted to African women as the ideal and best lovers. Man women then buy into the myth that only a “thug” knows how to please them sexually. Many of these women are freaks and use that as an excuse to get their freak on. The internet, music videos and events like freak ‘nic, promote and encourages these freaky knee-gresses to imitate their freaky knee-grow counterpart. Young women seeing this believe in the bullshit about female empowerment and get hyped up on it. They get involved with these missing links because they think that “thugs” have the best sex!

Unbeknownst to many of these women these “thugs” that they love and desire, engage in homosexual activities, not only in and out of prison, but who willingly do so in the underground culture of the “down low” ( that’s a post for another time). This unfortunate desire for “thugs” creates a vicious cycle, because irresponsible young male are ill prepared to be committed and upright and have been conditioned through female and male parental neglect to conform their behavior to meet the desires of irresponsible femalesand a low expectating society.  Since consciously and unconsciously the majority of women set the bar in a relationship, if she says she wants a “thug,” the male is going to behave like a “thug” in order to get sex.

I remember a Rastafarian elder, royally proclaiming that, “you can’t be a Rasta and not sell marijuana”. This archaic nonsense was due to a time when Rastas where never allowed to have or hold gainful employment in Jamaican society that dispised anything remotely resembling Africa. They thus resorted to selling Marijuana, a skill they picked up from the South Asians living in Jamaica in the 1920’s and who introduced the Kali weed to the Island. In the NAU, thugs and men who want to be them believe rightfully that selling drugs is a fast and lucretive way to become independent business men, to avoid meaning full work or because they lack the training, desire, education or ethnicity or gender to be employed in many jobs today.

Some of these men, with out applying themselves to honest work, stand around doing nothing, or otherwise sell death to children and women in order to buy material things that give the impression of wealth. All to impress female thugs or female’s who love thugs. It’s interesting that this psychopathic money based value system’s main pillar is scarcity. Scarcity creates demand, which creates a sellers market, along with greed, violence and the rise of prison culture and sanctioned executions via the judicial and police branch of the White Supremacy system.

Due to the scarcity of upright African males, who will lead the building of a viable community with an upright African woman in lockstep, we get a scarcity of leaders. Due to assassinations, miseducation, efeminate conditioning and the female unwillingness to turn out more soldiers to fill the void of the previous fallen, it became a sellers market for the White Supremacists’s mind control activities through the media, schools and other of the nine people activity areas. They sell the image of mantan and sleep’n’eat.  The image of Bigger Thomas and American Gangster in a diabolical way as the anti-hero/hero our community should look up to.

Until we decide to act free by naming ourselves and thinking for ourselves, we will continue to dance to others off beat music and misrepresentation of who we are and who we should be… and love.










2 thoughts on “Thug lovin' African women????

  1. All your points are valid and consistent with the way many of us act as per media conditioning and socialization in this psychopathic culture. However, my emphasizing the generic look as well as the actions of the thug, from media imagery, was because many youth -male and female- are and will continue to wear that image and act as a badge of rebellion.

    One point you make I must disagree with:

    “You can’t know a thug until full interaction, people often only show you their good side until further along in the relationship, depending how manipulative they are.”

    If your point of reference is from the societal aspect of “dating” and “falling” in love, then your inability to assess the person’s quality is “blinded” by the so called love (whatever that is) or mythology.

    Too often males and females approach the beginning of a relationship on a superficial level and continue from there. This is somethng I intend to expand on in another post.

    Women who are indeed looking for men, who appear as protectors and providers, as I alluded to in the piece, but are using the wrong parameters, guidelines and approach. This is why certain choices become head scratchers in the beginning and grow into mistakes that expand over time.


  2. You can’t know a thug until full interaction, people often only show you their good side until further along in the relationship, depending how manipulative they are.
    Women are looking for men who appear as protectors and providers. Thugs comes in all forms businessmen, laborer, artist, religious leader etc. it is more of a behavior than a lifestyle although some groups mafia, gangsta rapper make it a lifestyle.

    We can also ask why so many men go for “sex pot women” I know for fact a sex pot initially will get more male attention than a intellectual woman. Poll 50 men right now and ask them which women they find attractive I bet the sex pot celebrity type will top the list.


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